


if i could convert 2 and 2 into 5 it would give me much greater pleasure

by HaveYouSeenATimeLord



Category: Maleficent (2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bookstore, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Awkward Flirting, First Kiss, First Meetings, Literary References & Allusions, M/M, aurora always gets the short stick, diaval is a loser nerd, maleficent is scary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-22
Updated: 2014-12-22
Packaged: 2018-03-02 21:39:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2826977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HaveYouSeenATimeLord/pseuds/HaveYouSeenATimeLord
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>the "i fell asleep in the bookstore where you work" au that no one asked for.</p><p>Diaval works at The Moors, a used bookstore. Phillip is a very persistent customer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	if i could convert 2 and 2 into 5 it would give me much greater pleasure

**Author's Note:**

> this pairing needs more love (and fics). for how much tumblr jumps on hot white dude slash and how popular this movie was i’m surprised that not many people started hardcore shipping them, even WITH malora for competition. like, even hansoff has more fic, and that has way more competition.
> 
> anyway, this was only supposed to be like 500 words. oops.

“Byron…Byron…B for Byron…” Diaval whispered under his breath as he ran his fingers along the shelf that was conveniently labeled “Poetry”. He growled when he passed the spot where Byron should have been. “We _cannot_ be sold out of Lord Byron.” He sighed. The bookstore was quiet, as it always was after closing. The noise of the busy street outside didn’t make it past the thick walls of books that crisscrossed the store in a haphazard kind of way. Diaval frowned. Being sold out of his favorite author meant that Diaval would have to settle for something else for his late night, post-work reading. At least Maleficent, the owner of _The Moors_ , was kind enough to let him borrow the stock every now and again. Or every night, as it so happened. The first time he took one of the books to read, Maleficent had caught him, laughed at him, and sent him on his way.

He made his way upstairs to the new age section when he heard it. A small, whispering sound. He flipped the light switch on and stared at the man that was lying, asleep, on the table in front of him. Diaval coughed. The man didn’t move. He coughed louder. This time the man stirred. He lifted his head slowly and took in Diaval, who had one dark eyebrow raised. He jolted upright. “Er…ah.” He tried again. “Who are you?”

“I could ask you the same question,” Diaval replied. The brown haired man looked around.

“Oh. I must’ve fallen asleep. What time is it?”

“10 o’clock.”

The man blushed and jumped to his feet. “I must get going! Sorry for being here, you guys must’ve closed ages ago. I’m so sorry!” And he dashed around Diaval without a second glance. As Diaval made his way over to the table, he heard the bell over the door ring, and then silence. He sighed and picked up the book that the man had been reading. _Letters From Lord Byron_ , the cover proclaimed. Diaval tucked the small book into his pocket and began to turn off all the lights.

#

“Hello, it appears to me that you have no books by Lord Byron in stock.” Diaval immediately knew who it was when he heard the voice, and quickly hid behind a shelf. He peeked out and saw the man from two days previously speaking to Aurora, the newest employee. She smiled sweetly at the brunet.

“Perhaps you did not look hard enough?”

“I swear I was just looking at it here the other day.”

“Well, someone must have bought it. I’m very sorry, sir.”

“Not a problem at all, miss.” The man smiled at the blonde and Diaval felt something in his chest seize up a bit. He hiccupped softly, but not soft enough apparently. The man and Aurora turned towards the bookshelf, but Diaval managed to hide himself.

“I can keep an eye out for it if you don’t mind coming back to check every once in a while,” Diaval heard Aurora say as he slunk off towards the back of the shop. _Curse you,_ _strange man with good taste in books_ , he thought to himself. He was so wrapped up in his own thoughts, in fact, that he didn’t notice when Aurora tapped him lightly on the shoulder. She smiled coyly. 

“What was that about?”

Diaval considered avoiding the question but figured that would incriminate him further. “Uh, we – meaning that man and myself – had an encounter the other night.”

“Encounter?” Aurora raised an eyebrow.

“Not like that! I found him sleeping upstairs. I woke him up and he ran away.”

“Thank you for telling me the truth, Diaval.”

“Not a problem,” he tried to hasten his getaway when Aurora grabbed him again.

“You wouldn’t have anything to do with that book going missing, would you?”

“Not a thing.”

#

“I’ve come to check to see if my book is in stock yet!” the man called, and Diaval cursed all the gods that he knew the names of, which was a lot. When he was done, he risked a glance over his shoulder, and breathed deeply when he saw the brown haired man still standing there, with a slightly muddled look on his face. He emerged from the back room and tried to put on his least off putting smile.

“What would that be, sir?”

But the man ignored his question. “Oh it’s you!” the man smiled, and then flushed a deep red. “I’m still sorry about the other night.”

“It’s not a problem. You’ll find that I’m quite forgiving. Now, if my mistress had found you on the other hand…”

“I assume we’re not talking about the blonde one?”

“No.”

There was an awkward pause. Diaval coughed. “Well, what book did you want to know about?”

“Oh! _Letters From Lord Byron_.”

As Diaval turned back to pretend to check the records he tried not to laugh. He turned back to the man. “Not here, sorry.” The man’s face fell. Diaval felt a pang in his chest. “But you’re welcome to keep checking back,” he blurted out, and felt his ears heat up when the man smiled. _Oh no._

#

“Any news yet?”

“No, not today.”

#

“Is the book in?”

“Not yet.”

#

“I wondered if -“

“Nope.”

Diaval watched the man wander around the shop. The man cautiously touched the spines of the books that Diaval knew so well. Aurora came up to him when he was in the fantasy section and Diaval suddenly didn’t want to watch anymore.

#

“Hello,” the man greeted as he walked in the door, a month after he fell asleep at the table upstairs.

“No, your book is not in yet,” Diaval said testily. The man had been in the shop a lot lately, talking to Aurora on her breaks. Once he had brought her a blueberry muffin – her favorite – and Diaval had punched the cash register key so hard that he bruised his finger.

The man frowned. “You haven’t said hi to me once.”

“Maleficent doesn’t like for the employees to chat with the customers.” That was a lie. But maybe he could get the man to believe it.

“Oh. Well, tell Aurora I said hi.” Diaval grunted. “Thanks, Diaval.” The dark haired man startled.

“How do you know my name?”

“Aurora told me.”

Diaval felt faint.

#

After that, the brunet took to hanging around Diaval almost as much as he hung around Aurora. He seemed to be past caring that his book would most certainly never show up in the store. One day, as he strategically maneuvered past the man to put books on the new release shelf, Diaval caught the man staring at him. He raised an eyebrow, but the man didn’t seem to notice. “Why do you hang around me all the time?”

“Well, when Aurora’s off with Maleficent there’s not much else to do.”

_Is that where she is_ , Diaval thought. “I’m not a very good conversationalist,” he said apologetically.

“I don’t mind the silence.” He gave Diaval such an assuring smile that the dark haired man thought he might have heart palpitations for weeks.

#

“If you’re going to be such a damn nuisance all the time you could at least give me a name to call you by.”

“My name’s Phillip.”

“Well then, Phillip, get down off that bannister. You could hurt yourself.”

#

“How do you even have so much time to hang out here? Don’t you do anything else?” Diaval pushed past Phillip to reach the graphic novels.

“Not really. My classes are all at night. That’s why I was in such a rush to leave that first time.” He turned pink at the memory. “I…I wish I could’ve stayed for a bit, though.” He lightly touched Diaval’s arm and Diaval froze. The moment – or whatever that was – ended a moment later when Aurora came out of the back room with an armload of books and Phillip rushed to help her carry them.

#

Two weeks later, Diaval saw Aurora kiss Phillip on the cheek and decided that, for the first time in his life, he would call in a sick day.

#

He should’ve known that his absence would not go unpunished. At two o’clock, after wallowing in self-pity for most of the night and getting no sleep, Diaval finally pulled himself out of bed when he heard the doorbell ring. He opened it to a glaring Maleficent.

“What do you think you’re doing, Diaval?”

“I didn’t feel well, mistress.”

“Really? Well, in that case I just came by to check on you.” Diaval sighed in relief. “But also to lecture you. Sit.” She gestured to an armchair. Diaval suddenly felt like an unwelcome guest in his own home. He sat, and Maleficent flashed a dangerous smile. “It has come to my attention that you are making customers ‘feel anxious and uncomfortable because your sour attitude’ and are soon going to ‘drive all paying customers away with your aura of hatred.’”

“Who told you that?”

“Aurora, who else? So what I want to know is why your personality is suddenly matching your frankly depressing wardrobe choices.”

“You also wear black all the time!”

“Yes, but I wear it to be mysterious and seductive. When you wear it it makes you seem sad and reclusive.” She walked closer to him as he protested. “A little bird, Aurora, again, told me that you seem to be alienating her and her friend. I can’t imagine all that hate stems from the one time when you ‘found him sleeping on the table upstairs.’”

“It doesn’t stem from anything.”

“Perfect.” Maleficent grinned and Diaval’s heart sank. “Then you must immediately stop being so hostile. I actually do care about running a good business, Diaval.” With that she left, leaving Diaval wondering how he had thought taking a sick day had been a good idea.

#

“You weren’t here yesterday,” Phillip said immediately as he walked in the door and saw Diaval.

“No, I wasn’t.”

“I missed you.”

“Uh-huh.” Diaval mentally reprimanded himself for being so harsh.

“Aurora told me you were sick. Are you ok now?”

“Yep. Peachy!” Diaval walked into the back room and slammed the door.

#

He did try to be nicer, he really did, but it was so difficult when Phillip and Aurora were huddled together, whispering and giggling.

He found it particular annoying one week when he was hanging winter decorations around the shop. Phillip had been hanging around the store from open to close every day for the past week because of his school break. He happened to be hanging some baubles when he saw, out of the corner of his eye, Phillip holding a plant above Aurora’s head. She giggled, and Phillip kissed her on the nose. Diaval fled into the backroom and hated how he couldn’t calm the butterflies in his stomach.

#

“Here, Diaval, let me get that for you.” Phillip reached to take the tinsel from the dark haired man.

“You’re only an inch taller than me!” But all of Diaval’s other protestations died away on his tongue when Phillip reached to the tallest part of the tree and his shirt rode up, revealing an expanse of toned golden stomach. Diaval suddenly felt like one of the swooning maidens in the dime romances he had been reading lately. He found that, currently, they were the only characters he could identify with.

#

“Here, Diaval, I got you hot chocolate,” Phillip said as he presented Diaval with a steaming mug. As Diaval took it from him, Phillips hand lingered a little long over his, and he withdrew it quickly.

Diaval took a sip. “With extra vanilla.” He smiled softly.

“Aurora told me it was your favorite.”

“Thank you.”

Phillip ducked his head. “Diaval I – I.” He stopped mid-sentence. “I hope you like the mug,” he said, rushing, and ran off to the back of the store.

Diaval looked at the mug, confused. On its white side, it loudly proclaimed “I’d rather be reading Byron.”

#

Diaval looked up from the giant stack of Margaret Thatcher biographies he was shelving when he heard footsteps on the creaky basement stairs. Business had been slow lately, now that New Years was over and there were no major holidays approaching that required books as presents. That, and it had been balls cold out. That didn’t seem to stop Phillip from visiting with what was left of his winter break.

“Brrr,” Phillip shivered exaggeratedly when he got into the basement. “Is it normally this cold down here?”

“Only in the winter.” Diaval hardly noticed the cold anymore. “Wear a coat next time you come down to bother me.”

“I’d rather just have you warm me up.”

In the silence, Diaval could only hear his own breathing. “What.”

“I _said_ I’d rather have _you_ warm me up.”

“Oh well that’s…I just…I was…er…” He turned to see Phillip siting quite close beside him on the stone floor. The brunet closed the space between them and pressed his lips to Diaval’s, knocking the stack of books to the floor. Diaval sat stunned for a moment and felt Phillip start to pull away when he finally reacted. He chased Phillips lips with his own and brought his hands up to hold the other man’s face. He felt Phillip’s arms wrap around him as he tilted his head to deepen the kiss.

“Phillip…what – mmph…what are we doing?” Diaval said as Phillip moved away.

“At the present we are kissing, I believe,” Phillip said as he moved down Diaval’s neck to nip at his collar bone.

“Yes I can _see_ that. I mean what are we – oh god, keep doing that – doing in general? And why are we doing it in a freezing basement?”

Phillip stopped and Diaval whined. “Oh yes. Well, I don’t have an answer to the first one, but I _do_ have a car to take us wherever we want to continue what we’re doing.”

“ _Please_.”

The two men quickly scrambled to their feet and hurried to the front door. As they ran out, Diaval yelled to Aurora “mind the shop!” She just grinned at them. Diaval swore she gave him a thumbs up.

#

“Oh my _god_ , Diaval. I didn’t think you could _do_ that to a person!”

“You’d be surprised what other tricks I have up my sleeve.”

“Care to show me those things in round two?”

“It’d be my pleasure.”

#

The next morning when they arrived at the store, Diaval reached behind the counter and grabbed something. He slid a brown wrapped package over to Phillip. The man looked at it, confused. Diaval rolled his eyes. “Well, open it.”

Phillip hopped over. He carefully peeled the brown paper off the object and was surprised to find a book in his hands. _Letters From Lord Byron_. He looked at Diaval. “You’ve had this the whole time?”

“I…well…yes.”

Phillip broke into a grin and hugged Diaval with a force the black-haired man didn’t know the other possessed. He peppered kisses all across Diaval’s face, then pulled back. “You know what, Diaval? You’re really bad at customer service.” He thought for a moment. “Well, not really. Not at all, actually.”

**Author's Note:**

> the moors is based off this great used bookstore in chicago called myopic books where my best friend and i literally sorted through every book they had about lord byron in the entire store. u can google it to get an idea of what it looks like.
> 
> also, diaval's byron mug actually exists: http://www.cafepress.com/mf/29244755/byron_mugs?productId=288907302
> 
> i'm always open for writing prompts at dwightfryes.tumblr.com


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